The transitional stage of labour has nothing on the final stages of writing a novel. š«Ā I’mĀ having my fourth (novel), but itās no easier – or should I say, Iām no easier. I constantly shush my family; youād think I was writing straight to Audio book. News of visitors comingĀ is met with screams of horror and finger counting of missed writing hoursĀ (including those needed to make the home and myself look non-deranged). At least I havenāt been as bad as during the final days of my first novel, when the family had me committed into the hotel down the road.Ā
So, whatās my problem? Itās taken more than a year to get here; I should be thrilled. But:
- The last five chapters always take five times as long as any others š¤
- I often have a favourite character dying at this point, and Iād rather not be seen crying about people in my invented world! š„
- Itās scary that I soon wonāt be able toĀ keep this baby to myself. š¤°š¼Ā Not that I completely have: my partner has been dragged on and under piers, round the RNLI College, through a fifties penny arcade and seen all the photos of myĀ paddle steamer trip. Heās also, over time, been told exactly when sherbet fountains, ā99ā ice creams, answerphones, Sony Walkmans, pocket calculators, trolley bags and heaven knows what else became available (dates below, fyiĀ š¤).Ā
So, how does one finish a novel considerately? Iāve no idea. But you should probably atone somehow, when itās all over. Unfortunately, I canāt promise it wonāt happen again; most unfeasibly, Iāve already been implanted with an idea for the next novel. š
My previous tantrums produced The Lighthouse Keeperās Daughter, published by Urbane Publications,Ā and you can get it from good bookshops or online e.g.Ā https://amzn.to/2xQtuXYĀ š”šš
- Sherbet Fountains – 1925
- ā99ā ice creams – 1930
- Answerphones – 1960
- Pocket calculators – 1971
- Sony Walkmans – 1979
- Trolley bags – 1991Ā