The transitional stage of labour has nothing on the final stages of writing a novel. 😫 I’m having my fourth (novel), but it’s no easier – or should I say, I’m no easier. I constantly shush my family; you’d think I was writing straight to Audio book. News of visitors coming is met with screams of horror and finger counting of missed writing hours (including those needed to make the home and myself look non-deranged). At least I haven’t been as bad as during the final days of my first novel, when the family had me committed into the hotel down the road.
So, what’s my problem? It’s taken more than a year to get here; I should be thrilled. But:
- The last five chapters always take five times as long as any others 😤
- I often have a favourite character dying at this point, and I’d rather not be seen crying about people in my invented world! 😥
- It’s scary that I soon won’t be able to keep this baby to myself. 🤰🏼 Not that I completely have: my partner has been dragged on and under piers, round the RNLI College, through a fifties penny arcade and seen all the photos of my paddle steamer trip. He’s also, over time, been told exactly when sherbet fountains, ‘99’ ice creams, answerphones, Sony Walkmans, pocket calculators, trolley bags and heaven knows what else became available (dates below, fyi 🤓).
So, how does one finish a novel considerately? I’ve no idea. But you should probably atone somehow, when it’s all over. Unfortunately, I can’t promise it won’t happen again; most unfeasibly, I’ve already been implanted with an idea for the next novel. 🙄
My previous tantrums produced The Lighthouse Keeper’s Daughter, published by Urbane Publications, and you can get it from good bookshops or online e.g. https://amzn.to/2xQtuXY 💡🌊📘
- Sherbet Fountains – 1925
- ‘99’ ice creams – 1930
- Answerphones – 1960
- Pocket calculators – 1971
- Sony Walkmans – 1979
- Trolley bags – 1991